BRWFSP, Pt 4: The End

Let's beat this dead horse one last time by cutting to the chase before I wrap up the epilogue with some more annecdotes. Essentially, I'm saying that indulgences should be valued and appreciated. Even though Whole Foods and Trader Joe's are right off the highway that doesn't mean that Interstate 64 needs to be your yellow brick road to the wonderful wizard of Oz. Creating a traffic snafu is a contradictory homage to natural and ethical lifestyle choices. Try zumthing different once in a while.

Biking may not be the best way to do a Short Pump trip, no matter where you live. But evidently, it's a pretty provocative idea. I do highly recommend the experience, but I probably won't do it often (you know what they say about bodies in motion vs. bodies at rest). The Patterson to Three Chopt route is really rather pleasant, even if you're driving. Richmond has a lot to offer in the form of historic neighborhoods, parks, and a multitude of authentic cultures. So, I hope that the pre-fab environments of malls and big box stores are a relatively infrequent experience for me. Enough moralizing and on to some of my own contradictions:

Of course, when I do hit the humongous havens of retail heaven,
I'm gonna do it my way:

If this you missed the previous installments, here's part one, two, and three.


Meanwhile, back at Short pump...

In my post bike ride haze, I apparently visited the free avocado stand twice by mistake. Whups! Guess I had stopped by there on the way in and the way out. Maybe I was discombobulated by all the consumer excitement. ;0) After packing everything away, I hopped on my bike and rode across Broad to Best Buy, proud to be two wheeling it in Glenn Allen where car culture is king. I've got a subscription to eMusic, and sometimes albums that I want don't show up there. If it's a really dire case, I'll head to Best Buy, hoping for a sale (avoiding the $17.99 of Plan 9 - I mostly buy used there). Today, I just wanted a treat and to diversify my bike basket portfolio. I searched the end-caps where the $9.99 discs are displayed, hoping to find something new. And there it was: Fleet Foxes. I had no idea what it sounded like, but the critical acclaim made me feel like I needed it. I asked the clerk if they have a listening station, but they didn't (score one for Plan 9 - the album is very lovely, btw). After picking up some rechargeable D batteries for Jasper's swing, I headed out.

Back across Broad Street, I rode through the Trader Joe's parking lot. There were cars out front, so I thought I might peep some of TJ's secrets, oompa loompas carrying cases of Two Buck Chuck, or some piece of news that I could break for you all. I pedaled right up to the front door and it swung open for me (the motion sensor made it do that automatically). I debated going inside the haunted TJ's, but I noticed that there was nothing on the shelves as of yet. I decided against intruding and left, wondering if they might wanna hire an internet hype artist for their opening. Just kidding, I'll be out of town that weekend anyhow.

My last stop was the Vitamin Shoppe in the same little leggo-land mini-mall. I headed straight back to the clearance bin and zero'd in on the 75% off items. The clerks must have a knickname for people like me who blow past their carefully placed product displays for the scratch and dent and almost expired items. I picked up an irresistable 2 lb tub of "pre-workout muscle igniter." The claims on the label really grabbed me:

• Explosive Energy
• Insane Muscle Pumps
• Laser Sharp Mental Focus
• Lemon Lunacy Flavor

Those are all word-for-word quotes, yall. I was temped to add this to my water bottle, but I've had too many negative experiences with energizing products to poison myself way out in the middle of nowhere. No, I'm gonna try this stuff at home. Now, how much are you supposed to snort? Come to think of it, this epic four part blog entry kinda smacks of stimulants of one sort or another. But, it's all natural exhibitionism and ego, locally produced and non-gmo. Don't you worry.

Back on the road, I vowed to take my time getting home. No, I didn't go to West Elm or H&M (not without Karen, anyhow). Despite my anti-consumerist diatribe, I love to shop. But I couldn't weigh my bike down any further.

There was no rush and I no longer had a full head of steam. Nonetheless, my sense of accomplishment and newfound knowledge of the roads made the ride go by quick. In fact, it was somewhat meditative and relaxing. My legs had resigned themselves to the movement and this acceptance helped me transcend some of the muscle fatigue. I detoured through Carytown and Groveytown before that, but I didn't stop anywhere. The ride back home was 50 minutes, capped off with a shower and furious somewhat inspired blogging.

So, back to the operative question. The Whole Foods vision of loveliness was totally worth the trip. It's a totally dreamy place. Everyone reading this should go and see it and try at least one thing. Considering my small bike basket and limited funds, I could only take part in "Partial Foods." Not that there's anything wrong with that. I love expensive things and expensive places. Just in small doses. As for the bike ride, these blog entries of mine usually fall into either the "how to" category or the "how not to" category. I'm pegging this one a "how to."

For analysis of the grocery store market impact of Whole Foods, see Veronica, my favorite patiserie. Which stores will Whole Foods' impact, assuming they successful establish themselves? Some say it's Ukrops, Ellwoods, Fresh Market. What do you think?