Sunday, May 04, 2008

How to Order Milk with Style, by Jasper

It's probably too early to know for certain if my son is going to have the same high-maintenance foodie tendencies as his daddy. However, I did recently catch Baby Jaz giving some lip as he was placing an order for his favorite snack. The flash of anger shown by Mr. Fussy Face conveys plenty of sentiments. In case you don't pick up what Jasper is putting down, I've included some translation, so be sure to read the quotes. In essence, Jasper says, "If I don't get my milk, there will be blood."
What's that you say? Is it dinner time already? Well, I suppose I could have a little taste. What's on the menu.

Hmmm, wait. Don't tell me. I've heard that you carry some homemade dairy products? And how do you serve that dish here?

Boobies? My favorite! Well, let me get warmed up for this, so I can get my drink on proper. First, I turn my head to the side and open wide.

Then I clamp down, thusly. Wait, don't laugh. A good latch is crucial to avoid the discomfort of gassy bloating.

Oh yeah. Here we go now. Workin' that boobie and pulling down some dairy. Mmmmmwwwwa!

Woman, don't laugh at me! I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE. I DRINK IT UP!

My sucker pucker will tear up a boobie. C'mon, let's have it, already. Right here on the porch. I don't give a &^%$@#!

What the hell are you lookin' at? Is somebody talking to you? Fool, do not disturb me when I'm gettin' ready for my milk.


  1. I love the last picture - it is as if he is looking at you and thinking... "what you talkin' bout willis" - he is such a cutie!

  2. Although Jasper can't quite control most of his movements, he's sure got lots of sass. The Gary Coleman quote is right on (although, Jasper doesn't worry about network censors).

    For me, the real star here is the pucker sucker. He does this sucking motion (and smooching sound!) to soothe himself, but also as a passive aggressive request for mamma's milk. It's a highlight whenever we catch it.

    Did everyone catch the Daniel Day Lewis quote? Who'da thought that meme would wind up transfered to a nonverbal newborn? Nonetheless, he drinks your milkshake!

  3. Lauren10:13 PM

    Those pictures are amazing. You will be so glad later that you have them--the time goes by so fast--my daughter is 17 months and I can't believe it. Seriously he is SO CUTE!! Thanks for sharing.

  4. those pictures are great. It really brightened up my Muunday afternoon!!

  5. Quiz:

    What kind of bees make milk?

  6. Ding ding ding!!! We have a winnner. And you get extra points, John, for going with the G rated spelling (although in my house we don't take such precautions... yet).

  7. Anonymous12:16 PM

    He is adorable. What a cute post :o)


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