Bike Ride to Whole Foods at Short Pump, Pt. 1

There is such a stigma attached to the drive to Short Pump that I feel like I need to do something to justify my curiosity about the new Whole Foods. Much of the negativity has actually come from me and my website, as I've talked endless sh*t about the traffic version of a double windsor knot that is the Short Pump stretch of (far) West Broad. How do my carrots look?

Seriously, the conglomeration of retail fabrication is so epic that most Richmonders just shake their head in wonder. Of course, every other Saturday, even the naysayers wind up strolling through Best Buy or buying fillet by the foot from Tom Leonards. Yeah, I think the place definitely has found a niche as everyone's dirty little gas guzzling secret. But, that's precisely why I'm writing this piece. I want to see if it's possible for a downtown resident to make an ethical trip to Whole Foods and have the whole experience of an earned vacation in the oasis of eco-friendly and ethical organic unprocessed bioregional macrobiotic antioxidant-rich alternative green naturopathy (trade mark).

Jasper says, "Bring me back some organic teething popsicles."

According to Google Maps, the trip is at least 12 miles each way from Byrd Park, taking Patterson and Three Chopt, most of the way. I don't guess that I'll need to get a hotel along the way, but I'm bringing my credit card, just in case. If you haven't noticed, all of this writing is taking place BEFORE the ride. As optimistic as I am about the trip, I'm not sure about the ride back. How will I get my purchases home? FedEx? I could take my wife's bike with the basket on the front, but it would take much longer. Not sure at this point. And then there's my slight hangover from enjoying toxic beverages while watching Chuck Liddell get KTFO'd last night. Let's hope this adventure doesn't do the same to me...

To be continued.

"Just kidding. Be safe, daddy."


Here's part two for ya.

Trader Joe's in Richmond: CONFIRMED

According to the Trader Joe's website, Trader Joe' s is "coming soon to Richmond, VA." Thanks to my coworker's sleuthing, I broke this story a week or so ago before TJ's updated their coming soon list (and before the Times-Disgrace).

My previous piece, and its fruitful comments section, brought up a lot of speculation about sprawl, consumerism, UKraps, ecstatic hooting and hollering, and questions about how far is too far to travel for a bargain. Let's continue that discussion, because we've got at least a few months until we need to further congestify Short Pump with our gourmet fetishism.

By the way, we're not the only ones on I-95 clamoring for our Trader Joe's fix with a side of Whole Foods. Another big box monstrosity called Central Park is lobbying hard in Fredericksburg. They say Charlottesville was supposed to get one too. Maybe Short Pump was a compromise. I'm wondering if it'll even be the same old Trader Joe's by the time we start seeing one between every Five Below and Kohls. Anyhow, just wondering. No more negative nancy from me. Back to the party.

(can you tell that my spell checker is broken?)
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Update: The RTD has finally gotten the scoop: summer/fall opening, "fragmentation" of grocery store market, disintegration of civilized society, and healthy/tasty products at unholy affordable prices (sorry Ukrops).